What’cha get me for Christmas?

Posted: 12.11.11

In the US there is a shark-like feeding frenzy just after our stuff-yourself-till-you-bust national holiday to celebrate the pagan Indians teaching the Protestants how to grow corn. They were thankful for the lesson and so they declared the day Thanksgiving, a holiday, they ate the corn, and as fable has it, wild turkey. That was before Best-buy, Costco, and Walmart. For reasons unknown the day of shop-till-you-drop has been named Black Friday and is the leading indicator of the holiday shopping volume. Holiday shopping in the US accounts for about 40% of a retailers annual sales, and so if its flat or down (relative to the previous year) it’s considered a disaster, and Chicken Little comes running out of the accounting rooms of all the major chains. The always-clever stock market dumps all the shares of retailers and their suppliers and starts investing in derivatives because they understand those things.

Being out of work, or worried about the possibility of losing your job tends to kill the frenzied shopping mood, and so the bonus driven market watchers had their telescopes tightly focused on front doors of the retailers looking for people coming out carry stuff. They were relieved when they saw 60-inch HDTVs in shopping carts, piles of stuffed animals, Xboxes, and coffee makers. The holiday shopping madness was going to be good, the consumers, even those without jobs, were back buying stuff they didn’t need with money they didn’t have—we’re saved.

Also in those shopping carts were tablets, big ones little ones, some as small as a phones—wait, those were phones. Life in the US is tough. With an economy based on consumer consumption, little to no manufacturing base, and giant corporate farms we’re fragile. We’re controlled by the consumer, and she can be a fickle master.

But not to worry–she likes tablets, and always has liked mobile phones, the smarter the better. It used to be automobiles were the big consumer item in the US; not any more. TVs had the crown for a while, quite a while. And PCs were always a favorite. But tablets, in the era of Facebook and YouTube, boy oh boy what a delicious treat that is.


So you can expect to see lots of tablets under the Christmas tree this year. And they will be well received and welcome. This isn’t that stupid looking coat your husband/wife/mom bought for you, or that indescribable fruits/meat dish wrapped in holly with gingersnaps on the outside. Nosiree, this something you want.

Here’s a prediction, on Christmas day in the US the 3G network is taken to its knees as everyone sends and receives gizillions of megabytes of video to each other, or watches football games or American Idol on their new tablets.

The Grinch that stole Christmas got chased out of town by the tablet that won the west, east, north and south. And think of those unfortunate ones who don’t get a tablet for Christmas, either given to them by a loved one or given to them by themselves. Think how disappointed they’re going to be. Think how envious they’re going to be when they go visit or friends come over and show off their new tablets. What could you show and tell about to match it? Your new sweater, the chrome-plated weenie roaster, or the 26-piece tool set you got? Nope, just doesn’t stand up to a tablet.

But you’ll show ‘em. Next year you’ll get a tablet that does 3D, AR, VR, and drives your car. Then who will have the last laugh?